Kristin Cavallari has opened up about her past marriage to former NFL quarterback Jay Cutler, sharing deeply personal insights about the challenges they faced and the impact it had on her growth and healing. The reality star and entrepreneur, who was married to Cutler from 2013 to 2020, recently appeared on Bunnie XO’s Dumb Blonde podcast and candidly discussed the parallels between her relationship with her ex-husband and her complex relationship with her father.
Cavallari revealed that unresolved issues with her father played a significant role in shaping her marriage. “I was repeating a pattern with my dad,” the 37-year-old explained. “Because I hadn’t done the work on my relationship with my dad—that’s what you do. I ended up marrying my dad. And so, it really forced me to work through my stuff, which is what I did.”
Looking back, Cavallari described her marriage to Cutler as one that was “toxic” from the start. “Things were just never good,” she admitted. “We tried, we really did. We did everything we could, but it was never right because I hadn’t done the work on myself. I was a f—ing baby—I didn’t know any better. I was only 23 when we started dating, and he was 27. We were both so young.”
Following their split in 2020, Cavallari said she dedicated herself to self-reflection and healing to break the cycle. “I’ve really taken the time to get my s— together,” she said, emphasizing the importance of addressing her past to avoid repeating similar patterns in future relationships.
Attempts at Reconciliation
Cavallari also revealed that she and Cutler briefly entertained the idea of rekindling their relationship after their divorce. “We actually went on a couple of dates the year after we split, just trying to see if we could make it work,” she said. “Because, man, it’s f—ing hard to walk away from something like that. But it wasn’t right. It had this hold on me—it was a trauma bond. Until you can really break that, it’s tough. I went back a couple of times thinking, ‘Why am I doing this?’ But eventually, I reached a point where I said, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ And I cut it off for good.”
Facing the Truth About Their Marriage
Cavallari shared further insights into the darker aspects of her marriage, describing her ex-husband as a “pathological liar.” She admitted there are lingering uncertainties about their time together that she may never resolve. “There are things from my marriage that I will never know, and I’ve just had to let that go,” she said. “I’m over it now, and that’s why I can talk about it so freely.”
In October, the Laguna Beach alum opened up further on her own podcast, Let’s Be Honest, about the heartbreak she experienced during her marriage. “Even though I’m the one who walked away, it was not what I wanted,” Cavallari said. “It was not what I had envisioned. I really tried f—ing everything I could. My heart was broken for years in my marriage—it was just heartbreaking when you want something so badly, but you just can’t get there.”
Co-Parenting and Moving Forward
Despite their tumultuous history, Cavallari and Cutler are in a better place now as co-parents to their three children: Camden, 12, Jaxon, 10, and Saylor, 9. “We’re in the best place that we’ve been in,” Cavallari shared. “It took four years, but things are really good with us now. So much so that we even sat together at one of Camden’s basketball games recently, and that makes me so happy. Honestly, I never thought we’d get there. I really didn’t.”
Reflecting on her journey, Cavallari expressed gratitude for the lessons she’s learned and the growth she’s achieved. “It’s been hard, but I know I’m stronger for it,” she said. “I’m finally at peace with myself and my past, and I’m excited about what the future holds.”
